Believe it or not Saturday is World Naked Gardening Day. Hmmm!
Saturday is also my wife, Danny’s, birthday. Hmmm!
And, Saturday is the day set aside for the coronation of King Charles in England. Hmmm!
Seems to be an awful lot going on, on Saturday. Hmmm!
Also, believe it or not, I’m kind of kin to the king in a long drawn out kind of way. Seems my DNA line goes way back. Way, way, back to where it hitches up with the English royalty line. They don’t recognize my royal status though, and, believe it or not again, did not invite a single member of my family to come stand on the balcony and wave.
Shocking, I agree.
Since they are snubbing us, we’ll do the same and not invite any of them to Danny’s birthday, or to celebrate Naked Gardening Day with us in the side yard. Not a single one of them get to come to our festivities. They will never “see” what they are missing.
I kind of expect Danny isn’t going to go along with this line of thinking — the naked gardening part – but one never knows.
According to a press release that dropped into my email box on Monday, Mississippi doesn’t rank in the top 10 for naked gardening, nor the bottom ten for the same, and something tells me that Sebastopol, Mississippi certainly isn’t going to rank up there amongst the top, and might rank down there close to the bottom when it comes to hoeing, or tilling, or planting, or plowing in the buff.
Since I refuse to hoe, and don’t have a tractor, I won’t concern myself with mastering those minus the britches. I like to plant, not so much till, but in the bare naked buff...hmmm...I don’t know.
I do have to admit there have been some summer afternoons in recent years that I just about succumbed to the naked gardening concept, but thus far have been able to contain myself as long as there was water and/or nearby air conditioning. Things, however, could change at anytime if this climate change business heats the planet any more. More specifically the portion of the planet located on Pine Grove Road where our homeplace stands. Travelers of said road, consider yourself warned.
Those in the naked gardening know, say these are the top 10 cities for the such.
1. Miami, FL
2. Austin, TX
3. Atlanta, GA
4. Philadelphia, PA
5. Los Angeles, CA
6. Orange, CA
7. Pasadena, CA
8. Seattle, WA
9. Houston, TX
10. Raleigh, NC
“We compared U.S. cities based on nudist population size, indecent exposure laws, and, of course, gardener-friendliness. We also looked at weather forecasts, access to waxing salons, and sex offender listings, among 12 total metrics,” the naked gardening gurus added.
I suppose we didn’t make the cut because, as far as I know, we don’t have a nudist population, and I’m not sure about indecent exposure laws although I have seen some people who looked pretty much like they were breaking indecent exposure laws, if they do exist, walking the streets.
I’m not sure about waxing salons either, or sex offender listings, but I do know, as previously mentioned, we have the weather here in Mississippi most of the time that would be conducive to naked gardening.
In the end, perhaps it is best just to forget this naked gardening business, and give up on the king getting in touch with his long lost relatives here in Mississippi, and just get back to the basics of a birthday dinner, not even a party, for my dear sweet wife. Lord knows I’ve embarrassed her enough over the last 42 years so I sure don’t need to be running around the yard in my birthday suit on her birthday.
That settles that.
Happy birthday honey bunch, hope you have a great day. Don’t blink, though. You know I might just change my mind. Or, on second thought, you might want to blink!
Love you!
