Slowing it down around town


For years I’ve complained in this space over and over again about two things in particular. The way some folks drive around town, and especially on Highway 21 between here and Sebastopol, and what they do with their trash in those same areas.

Apparently the trash thing is not going anywhere, but I did see two people get pulled over by a State Trooper on the highway last week and I wanted to shout with joy as I whizzed by. I really wanted to blow my horn and stick out my tongue, but too many folks are packing guns these days. One has to be careful what one does, or says, or the faces that one makes.

It doesn’t really matter to me how fast someone thinks they must drive  — it’s usually the same someones when you travel the same route to and fro each day — but if I’m already going over the speed limit, say 59.5 in a 55, then what is your hurry. At least wait until those little lines painted in the middle of the highway are white dashes and not solid yellow stripes before trying to pass!

I’ve never really felt the need for speed, and have only been cited two times in 40 years for potentially having that need. The first was in 1978, I think, when Officer Adcock pulled me over in downtown Newton for going 34 in a 30 zone. Yes, a young 16-year-old speed demon I was indeed! I did not have to pay that ticket.


The second time was in downtown Tchula, just south of Greenwood in the Mississippi Delta. A fancy police woman with gold eye shadow that matched her gold badge said I was going 45 in a 35. I was, but I had just passed the sign that upped the limit to 45 when she nabbed me.

I told Officer Yolanda Cummins that the sign said 45 and she said “no, no, no, do you remember passing the Dairy Bar? The speed limit from the Dairy Bar to the Beauty Shop is 35!” I said “but” and she said “nope” and we both knew right then and there she wasn’t budging. She took my license and I took the receipt and mailed them a check for $100 and they mailed my license back.

Both of those cases were what I call “low grade” speeding offenses. So low that I still claim that I’ve never gotten a ticket and I’m 57 years old now. It is kind of true. I have never gotten a ticket from a trooper. Perhaps that’s what an alternate fact is. Hmm.

But when it comes to those folks that are blowing me off the road each and every single day, I hope they bust your butt soon. Real soon. And when they do pull you over I hope they check a bunch of those little boxes too. Reckless driving, speeding, driving on the wrong side of the road, texting while driving, and anything else that might vaguely apply.

Like I said, I’m already going 59.5 so don’t be giving me the stank eye anymore. Just keep your eyes on the road and why don’t you think about getting up 15 minutes earlier if you are that late all the time.

You know who you are. You know!